Dream Again

Self-care.  The questions were simple, yet baffling. "What do you do to care for yourself?" My mind was blank. "Umm, I think I shaved my legs last weekend?"  My first Christmas as a single mom of eight children was approaching. "What do you want your holidays to look like?"  "What traditions do you want to create for your life?"

For some reason this thought was like experiencing light for the first time. You mean I Have a choice?    I was painfully aware of how my life was, but I had not given any thought to the idea that it could be different and that I could create something new.  I had been in survival for so long, that this idea was a life-altering revelation!

Silver Sails Billow

A dear friend once wrote a poem as we prepared to graduate from High school:

 

Solo Flight





O're the years

A vessel I've built,

Of happy times and sad ~

Piece by piece each day it grew

A bit more worthy~

Secure~

 

Time has come to set my sails~

To leave this port~

For I have stayed my time~

on across the sea we so tenderly

filled with tears I must journey~

to test my knowledge of this vastness

to feel the strength of my sail.

 

the winds arise~

sails silver, billow

I must go.

This poem has come to mind many times throughout my life, but on one particular day - three years ago - as I was packing up the remains of my 28 year marriage and preparing to move with my children to a new home, I found this poem among my keepsakes. Once again ~ the winds arise and I must go into an unknown future.

The details of my journey thus far, I will save for another time.  My desire for these pages would be to share my journey of reawakening and renewal as I seek to heal my life, my body and spirit.

A gentle, almost imperceptible, wind has begun to swell anew within me. Almost a foreign feeling of hope and excitement has returned to my heart.  "The winds arise ~ sails silver billow, I must go." Please join me as I catch my second wind!